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Wednesday, July 5, 2000 THE OAKVILLE BEAVER A7 COMMENT Last m inute cottage surfing reveals a few surprises O We' ve hadso much rain... WILLIAM THOMAS All The World's A Circus cause - death by drowning. We've had so much rain, they closed down one o f Canada's finest hiking trails, the West Coast Trail, on Vancouver Island. Do you know what that means? There's too much rain in the rain forest! That's like having too much air in the atmosphere. Trust me, these things hardly ever happen. We've had so much rain, refugees were found hiding in the cargo holds of ships leaving the port of Vancouver. It's incredible. We've had so much rain, last week Jean Chretien couldn't even step in anything that required an immediate retraction and a stick to get it off his shoe. We've had so much rain, $50 mil lion in missing money just floated up from the floor boards in Jane Stewart's office at the Human Resources Department. We've had so much rain, CBC-TV is now filming the Canadian version of Survival involving six rich couples trying to stay alive on the island of Rosedale, subsisting on nothing but raw fish and Chardonnay. We've had so much rain, two killer whales escaped from Marineland and swam back in before anybody noticed. I tell you - it's like living in a car wash. Yesterday I saw two rummies in Port Colborne being saved by the Salvation Navy. We've had so m uch rain, the Toronto Olym pic Bid Com m ittee saved $12 million by switching all the rowing events to the Don Valley Parkway. W e've had so m uch rain, in Toronto, Friends For The Re-Election of Mel Lastman are insisting he wear a flotation device whenever he walks to work. Last week the Blue Jays and the Boston Red Sox had a two-hour rain delay at the SkyDome . . . and the roof was closed! There's been so much rain in the States, last week Charleton Heston put on his Moses robe, separated Rodeo Drive, and then handed out free squirt guns to school kids-... with the pur chase o f every automatic weapon. We've had so much rain, Ontario Premier Mike Harris had to remove his shoes and socks and wade across the pond that used to be the lawn at Queen's Park, once again revealing the secret of his six toes. And in rural areas around the coun try, they're asking that age-old ques tion: will the rain spoil the rhubarb? Yeah, even the cans are rusting out. And if the rain keeps up, the only thing Canadian farmers will be har vesting is lilly pads. It just has to end soon. So much rain, the Brits among us are getting homesick. Oh, and this just in ... the Vatican has just revealed the fourth and final secret o f Fatima - more rain! O ur cottage routine, I imagine, is like most others: Every sum mer, for a week or two, we stuff car full of books, rafts, old clothes and comfy pillows and it only takes us about two days to do it. We manage to make our way to the cottage without one of us killing the other. And, when we get there, and the very first thing we always do is run down the path, the dog at our heels, and hit the blessedly frigid waters of Lake Huron. It all seems so, well, com fortingly familiar. We don't haggle about the cost because it tends to be the same year after year. We don't even think about things like bathrooms, showers, beds or dishes: it's all been there for us for the past 30 years or so. About the only problem we've ever had is replacing one of the coffee mugs we broke when we were sitting watching one of the spectacular sunsets. That and the time the kids next door wrecked one of the kids catapults built on the beach has been about the only glitch. We might gripe a lot about what a nuisance it is to have so many boats docked off the shoreline, but really we are squawking just for the heck of it. The beach, the long lonely stretch of beach that's been the same for as long as I can remember just seems to make all those petty worries slip away. And so, when we were given the opportunity to live elsewhere for a good chunk o f the summer in the Southampton area, I thought, what an opportunity. My spouse was asked to continue to work on the Walkerton pro ject while we found a cottage nearby: I'd have a laptop..: it'll be a snap. Lake Huron sunsets, here I come. But the reality of renting a cottage at this late date hit home when I was on the phone to someone describing their cozy and quaint place that, I finally understood, didn't have a kitchen. "You can do everything in the microwave these days, can't you?" she purred. Then I found out it wasn't one cot tage, more a cabin really, dear, and it's with a whole bunch of other cottages, er cabins, and...this is the kicker...they're on the highway. The highway, for heaven's sake. "But we stayed there once and it wasn't noisy at all." Well sure. I stayed in a bed and breakfast in London once that only had one hungry bed bug, but would I rec ommend it? I don't think so. Cross that one off the list. Then there was the upper floor DIANE HART apartment in a house only about a mil lion miles from the beach, and the one bedroom cottage with the curtains as doors to the bedrooms. And no dogs. Talk about an impossible project. I began to think everyone in the world was converging on this piece of shoreline in August. My spouse, surfing the web, found what he thought would be perfect. "A log cabin in the woods!" he said, excited. The kids exchanged panic looks. "It's on 50 acres, skylights, lots of surrounding hiking trails, and you get your own bedroom." One problem, though. "Oh," he says as an afterthought. "There's no running water. And the outhouse is a bit of walk." Wait right there. I love the idea of living somewhere else in the summer; love the idea of looking out over Lake Huron and watch the sun set; love the idea of planning a three-day canoe trip down (or is it up) the Saugeen River; love the idea of that shoreline in the morning, cup of coffee in hand. But no running water? "Yup," he continues, oblivious to the kids now in catatonic states on the couch. "But you have a pump and pump out of the well." Let me on that Internet, I say grim lySo after we looked and hunted , a cottage agent found the one for us. It's got a kitchen, a living room, bedrooms and even a sunroom overlooking the lake. I kind of like old windows that have to be propped up.... but what the heck. The kids are relieved. I think the prospect of hauling water for more than month got them frantic. So this year we'll be in the Southampton area for some time. I'm driving them nuts talking about sea kayaking in Tobermory, art classes at the Southampton art school, cycling and a canoe trip along the Saugeen River. Already Drew is wondering if he can skateboard in town; Kate wants to try horse back riding. Me, I'm just happy I'm not on 50 acres in the bush hauling my own water. kay, so the patio project I start ed in May sits half-done awaiting two consecutive sunny days before it can be complet ed, my grass is so high, the kid who's supposed to cut it has been lost in it for a week, my left hand is developing carpal umbrella syndrome and last week I got a call from Vicky Keith asking permission to swim across my driveway. I'm telling you my house is so damp, Jake is sharing his dog bed with Portobello mushrooms. Yesterday my sump pump, which had been working non-stop since the first of May, finally puked and died forcing me to issue a small craft warn ing for the beavers in my basement.. And now the Vatican revealed the long suppressed third secret of Fatima. As told by the Madonna to three Portuguese shepherd children in 1917, the third secret was believed to fore tell the end of civilization by human destruction and natural disasters, but the Vatican said no, they're going to leave that up to the local TV weather man. "Severe thunderstorms expected across southern Ontario ... torrential rain hammering in the west ... 135% chance o f precipitation in the Maritimes ... scattered showers and a hail warning in the Eastern Townships it Good Lord - thunderstorms, light ening strikes, and widespread flooding - it's like living in the Old Testament. Enough already. Why don't they admit it - the sky is falling in the form of rain, the world will end by mid-July and the autopsy report will confirm the Leading today tor tomorrow If you have a news tip or story idea, call the Oakville Beaver at 845-3824. City of Mississauga 300 City Centre Drive Mississauga ON L5B 3 0 For inform ation: 896-5000 www.city.m ississauga.on.ca m ille n n iu m BYLAW NOTICE NOTICE OF THE PASSING OF ZONING BY-LAWS BY THE CORPORATION OF THE CITY OF MISSISSAUGA TAKE NOTICE that the Council of the Corporation of the City of Mississauga passed By-laws 0328-2000, 0329-2000, 0330-2000 and 0331 -2000 on the 28* day of June, 2000, under Section 34 of the Planning Act R.S.O., 1990,c.P.13, as amended. AND TAKE NOTICE that any person or agency may appeal to the Ontario Municipal Board in respect of the By-laws by filing with the Clerk of the City of Mississauga not later than the 25th day of July, 2000, a notice of appeal setting out the objection to the By-law and the reasons in support of the objection, together with a cheque in the amount of $125.00 payable to the Minister of Finance for each of the By-laws. Only individuals, corporations and public bodies may appeal a Zoning By-law to the Ontario Municipal Board. A notice of appeal may not be filed by an unincorporated association or group. However, a notice of appeal may be filed in the name of an individual who is a member of the association or group on its behalf. Explanation of the purpose and effect of the by-laws: ^ r U id im M ts A o m By-law 0328-2000 to amend Zoning By-law 5500 (former Town of Mississauga) to revise the notes in the schedules to provide minimum distance between the Garage Front Face and any street line. By-law 0329-2000 to amend Zoning 5500 (former Town of Mississauga), By-law 0330-2000 to amend Zoning 1227 (former Town of Port Credit), and By-law 0331-2000 to amend Zoning 65-30 (former Townof Streetsville) by: ad ding a d e fin itio n Distribution Facility": of By-law By-law By-law adding ng subsection exei empting any undertakings incidental to an electi' electrical distribution facility from the provisions of the by-law, provided that any proposed building or structure complies with the minimum zoning provisions in which the land is s itu a te d and exem pting all existing buildings or structures from the minimum zoning provisions in which the land is situated. Further information regarding these By laws may be obtained from Ron Versteegen (905) 896-5 728 of the P la nn ing and Buildii uilding Department. Poor ill served by Queen's Paik riot It sure looked to me as if "M etro's Finest' had their hands full dispensing the militant, whining, nincompoops' which amassed at Queen's Park, not surprisingly in the presence o f John Clark of the `coalition against poverty,' as they demonstrated a `brazen disre gard' for law and order assaulting police, cruelly attacking their defence less horses, and throwing taxpayers' interlocking bricks. The audacity of this rowdy, unruly crowed, which paradoxically were accompanied by at least one Liberal MPP and city councillor Olivia Chow who has called squeegee kids entrepre neurs, clamouring in an ominous mob that may have ransacked the provincial legislature in search of the premier if left unchecked by police, is not accept able! The premier was right to say that these folks in no way represent the majority of Ontarians. The instigating punks behind this disruption are fortu nate that they're not in China, Iraq, or Cuba where even orderly demonstra tions have been crushed with `brutal and often lethal force.' Those who are poor could have been better served by a civilized demonstration, appealing for minimum wage increases for all the years the Harris government hasn't increased it in concert with the inflation rate and by requesting that the Chretien Liberals accelerate the `basic income tax ' exemption for low income Canadians. If I were poor (when I have been) and on welfare, I would seize the opportunity to secure employment in this buoyant economy where the unem ployment rate is the lowest in 24 years in the realization that a life on welfare may be even less palatable than in the Harris era if the benevolent Canadian Alliance (the cam ouflaged Reform party) is ever elected to govern. David C. Searle 3 4 4 5D u n d o sW ( H w y .# 5 ), O a k v ille(1 -1 / 2M ile sW is to fH w y .# 2 5 ) 827-4678 website www.bertinstables.com e-mail: bertin a webtv.net English Riding School BERTIN STABLES "E le c tric a l 2000 Dated at Mississauga this 5th day of July, Arthur D. Grannum City Clerk Daytona Beach Thundering ocean surf, miles o f sandy beach, sunny skies, air conditioned luxury o f the ocean front N autilus Inn with daily breakfast and cocktail party included. Com fortable, entertaining transportation by m otorcoach. Leave one day. Arrive the next. Specials for singles. Weekly departures. Ask about our early booking discounts and longer stays. Aug. 22, 29, Sept. 5 - 1 0 days $549 p.p. twin, incl. tax. 137460 HALT0 N REGION REMINDER NOTICE Oakville Residents Hatton Region would like to remind the residents of Oakville that: G R A S S C U P P IN G S A R E B A N N E D F R O M R E G IO N A L G A R B A G E A N D YARD W A ST E C O L LE C T IO N . In 1993, Oakville Town Council approved the banning of grass clippings from all curbside collection. Environmentally, leaving grass clippings on the lawn will add moisture and nutrients to the lawn, saving on watering and fertilizing costs. However, a recent review of collection programs in Oakville by Region Staff determined that grass clippings in clear plastic bags were being collected by the contractor in certain areas as part of yard waste collection. DeNure Tours 1-800-668-6859 DeNure Tours Ltd. 71 Mount Hope St., Lindsay, ON www.denuretours.com #21032991 Effective Monday, Ju ly 10, 2 0 0 0 the Grass Ban in Oakville will continue . STOP ~ WEEDS and get rid of the law nm ow er. IN S T A L L a S ynth etic Golf Green o r synth e tic turf, (not grass) C o m m e rc ia l o r R e s id e n tia l P r o p e r tie s P U T T IN G G R E E N S a s lo w a s $ 2 , 9 0 0 . 0 0 C a ll f o r y o u r f r e e e s t i m a t e PROPER D ISP O S A L O P TIO N S INCLUD E: * Backyard Composting * Grasscycling is the environmentally friendly process of leaving your clippings on the lawn. This process will help your lawn since clippings are 90% water therefore reducing the need to water; grass clippings also release valuable nutrients into thejawn, such as nitrogen, phosphorous & potassium; leaving clippings on the lawn does not cause thatch. Hulfon www.region.halton.on.ca 1-877-PRO-PUTT